Art of misunderstanding...

I think it's quite a common thing to be misunderstood by someone and/or misunderstand someone. Not many people admit it, right?

There are times that misunderstandings can really cause a person's life to shift completely.

I still remember pretty clearly on one occasion that really made a total change in my life. I nearly lost every friend I had around. The misunderstanding was devastating, which stretched over months and months and months. Whatever we tried at our best of knowledge at that time, the relationships weren't mend together. At the end of the school year, it was pretty much "fucked". Now that I look back, I think that was the biggest misunderstanding ever. It was tough. But am glad a few good friends kept me sane.

Now back in Antwerp, I guess I can say I've observed a tremendous misunderstanding. It has stretched for months and months now. Each week, each month, it seems like it's getting worst. And what really disappoints me is...it involves the people of the church.

In fact, within the last two weeks, two occasions have made it quite clear on what had taken place and where was the root of the problem.

The art of misunderstanding...

Am no expert, but am thinking it's the following... ^^;

Point of view. We humans are funny beings...our experiences shape our mindset towards different subjects and objects. Where one person would think Paris is the best place in the world, another person would think it's the worst. Where one person would think I'm totally awesome, another person would think I'm a total creep. Human beings are funny... ^^ All because of what? the point of view. Where does our perspective come from? What's the foundation of our principles and values? On what platform do we stand as we look outwardly? This is the very beginning of misunderstandings.

One simple example. If an individual cannot believe that God created the world (as in Genesis 1), anything else in the bible is invalid from his/her point of view. That's the platform s/he started from, it's close to impossible to change his/her point of view on that matter or any other matter when the basic fundamental is not accepted.

Another example. When Christians do not believe that Jesus' existence and resurrection have enabled each and everyone of us to be equals and have direct communication with God, then s/he will usually misinterpret what "temple of God" really means. And in effect misinterpret many other principles and values that Jesus has clarified from the Old Testament. What's common I find these days is that many Christians still dwell in the past (Old Testament), when in fact we are already living in the days where Jesus is alive (New Testament). And what's worst is when Christians speak on the Word of God in the context of OT.

Lack of information/knowledge. Where the presenter provided insufficient information/knowledge to the recipient. Or the incorrect information/knowledge was given. Or the irrelevant information/knowledge was told. Or not being honest can play a large part of it. Usually when we hide information/knowledge, that's where the problem is. And you know, people naturally tend to assume things and/or twist words around to mean something else according to his/her mindset. That's why, it's very challenging to really provide a synopsis of a particular piece without losing important and relevant information/knowledge.

For whatever reason, it's no excuse to not present the relevant information/knowledge. In fact, sometimes it's better to keep quiet. Silence is golden. Sometimes, being silent is better than not. Then again, it takes maturity to know what to say and what not to say. Then again, being silent can really turn relationships sour when the recipient wildly think and/or act on assumptions and guesses.

What's more complex is when you're dealing with a group of people. This is where I believe sometimes no information is better than some. Sometimes, it's unnecessary to involve the public no matter what the public say. After all, the public does not have the full picture and usually do not have the wisdom to discern what's right and wrong. And when there's lack of information/knowledge, the public will...ya know...wildly continue from there.

Approach is another strong point. Dealing with people is never trivial. Everyone has a specific mindset, behaviour, attitude, personality and character. There's no one-size-fits-all approach. But really, do people really mind? Not really. We just tolerate one another and live life the best we can...and if it doesn't work out, just split. And when it does work out, great. At the end of the day, whatever approach it is, it's part of building relationships, getting to know one another, learn from one another, tolerate and accept one another.

But...we are so easily misunderstood from the manner we approach a particular subject/problem/issue/matter. And possibly important, we lack tolerance and acceptance.

What's disappointing is when Christians who believe they are know-all do not know how to approach people nor take much effort to really build relationships to understand one another and really "love your neighbours as yourself". Still they'd think their approach is absolutely correct. Does God provide each of us unique testify-able experiences? Yes. Is our God a robotic and systematic God? No. He approaches people differently. He provides each of us a testimony of life that we can show to the people around us. Yet Christians? Christians who are supposed to be like Jesus Christ? Are they like Jesus? Do they approach different circumstances and people differently?

I ain't saying I'm perfect. I can count the number of mistakes I've done in my approaches, and I do my best to change and improve. But when Christians who self-profess that they are mature spiritually yet isn't is really...disappointing.

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Since being in Antwerp, am glad that some people have changed for the better over the years. Am also glad that some people have realised what's really God's Word. Am also glad that I've gain more experience and matured, but still have room for improvements and many more things to see.

What I'm not glad is when church leaders do not focus in the Word of God but focus on what's happening in the church to preach God's Word. In other words, taking circumstances as the mean to preach rather than speaking directly from the bible to help people grow (Romans 14-15). And that church leaders believe that they deserve tithes and offerings just as in the OT without taking consideration of 1 Corinthians 9.

One can only hope the truth is revealed...

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Funny how this totally applies to one aspect of my personal life now. To be honest, am unsure what to do anymore...I've made far too many mistakes on one particular account. I think I've blew it... *sigh*~

Life is tough. True. But am sure one day, it'll be a brighter day... ^^